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Queer Utopia – Why we need pronouns.

By Cerlam Bewer

The current discourse on the use of pronouns and the handling of criticism within the queer scene in Berlin makes me wonder how we want to deal with each other? Hopefully everyone isn’t going to start attacking from their usual positions again. Nevertheless, it begs the question of with how much humility and appreciation we are able to listen to others before we immediately sound off with our own opinion on whatever the subject may be?

Having one’s own opinion – no matter how unreflected it may be – is perfectly fine for now. And the question is: Do I always and immediately – indeed without any delay – have to express this? Is that helpful to the issue or to the cause? Taking criticism doesn’t make for a pleasant moment. Especially when it questions one’s own values. Nevertheless, it should be said here. Better to just listen and be silent – take it all in. Inquire to the greatest extent possible, if I don’t understand something. And no BUTS and no NEVERTHELESS. These are two terms that should be used very sparingly in communication anyway.

We have a queer utopia to pursue. However, until we reach the point where we do not need boxes or pronouns or other categories in our society to know and accept ourselves and to feel happiness, I think there are many more categories that describe all the wonderful things that exist in this world.

The bad thing about this is not the criticism itself, but how to deal with it. How long can we stand all this? How long can you stand it? How long can I stand it? And the core of the approach. I would like us to do this with an approach that says: yes, I can stand it. I accept the criticism. Thank you for letting me learn something from you. Until the next discussion.

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